CHESS NEWS BLOG: chessblog.com: Funny chess definitions for a chess Wednesday!

Chess blog for latest chess news and chess trivia (c) Alexandra Kosteniuk, 2011

Hello everyone,

We found this nice humorous chess glossary with most of these "definitions" compiled by U.S. Master Eliot Hearst and first published in an article titled 'A Gentle Glossary' in the July 1962 issue of Chess Life (magazine). Some are by Ed Collins!

Adjournment: an interruption in play to enable both players to obtain analytical help from their chess master-friends, chess libraries, or chess computers.
Analysis: irrefutable proof that you could have won a game you lost.
Attacking Moves: moves that my opponent seems to make much more frequently than I do.
Bad Bishop: the one that you still have left on the board.
Blunder: Sacrificing for a tactical disadvantage.
Brilliancy: a combinative sequence which is understandable to anyone once the solution is revealed.
Bughouse Chess: a game gaining in popularity since you can always blame all of your losses on your partner's play.
Castling: a defensive move played by a cowardly opponent.; a special move solely done for king's safety only to be dismantled by your opponent later.
Center: according to the hyper moderns, the squares a1, a8, h1, h8.
Challenger's Tourney: a tournament to decide which Russian will play another Russian for the world championship.
Cheapo: a phrase coined by U.S. Master Dr. Karl Burger, who has won a large percentage of his games by such a maneuver; a move which threatens something so obvious that only an idiot would fall for it, and he does.
Checkmate: a self-inflicted torture by novices who don't know the word "resigns."
Duffer: anybody who can beat you three times in a row.
Endgame: your last opportunity to miss a win or a draw.
Fianchetto: an Italian method of developing bishops; popularized by Russians.
Fish: a player who falls for all your traps and still wins.
Fool's Mate: the logical conclusion to any game of chess; a chess player's spouse.
Foresight: the ability to play in only those tournaments you are sure of winning.
Good Bishop: your opponent's bishop.
Grandmaster: anyone who has reached the point in chess where he is acclaimed for drawing all his games.
Grandmaster Draw: a friendly conclusion due to mutual fear.
Internet Chess: a method of playing chess in which you can pay a monthly fee, tie up your phone line, all to play your neighbor across the street.
Kibitzer: someone who gives good advice to your opponent and bad advice to you.
King's Indian Reversed: naidni sgnik.
Lost Game: something your opponent had before he won.
Opening: that phase of the game in which intelligence plays no part.
Rating System: an objective method of ranking chess players which does not take into consideration the inherent beauty of a rose.
Trap: Something you saw but forgot about until you fell into it.
Weekend Tourney: a tournament for which a player travels 300-500 miles in order to be paired with players from his home town.